28 Years In Review

I’ve been doing year-in-review blogs since my quarter-life and do find it very helpful for my personal growth. Every time I read the blogs, I learn something new from them.

The funniest thing is – it’s the third year and I am still writing we’re in the pandemic. It’s not done yet although it’s getting better in the continent that I am living in. Hopefully, when I look back next year, every part of the world will be able to live with Coronavirus and no more variants which get our life stuck in one single place.

Looking back at the blog I wrote a year ago, it reminded me of some wise words I told myself – “Just do that before you regret anything and when the opportunity cost is low”, “full-time job is not the only income source I can have”, “do it now or never”, “just a few years, find your path, go your own way, then go back with your questions answered”.

These days, I’ve been thinking about what holding me back from achieving things, what makes me stagnate and procrastinate… It must be a constant. There must be something wrong, always has been. So I decided to do my year-in-review differently in my twenty-seven turning twenty-eight, I need to find out what are my constant problems and how should I solve them. But before that, let’s do the past-year review as usual first.

What have I done in my twenty-seven?

1. I’ve achieved the purpose of “going abroad”.
   
   How lucky I made the decision to travel to the UK in the pandemic time. I am living my life ahead of many people. Here in the UK, we’re out of COVID (a.k.a. live with COVID) and everything’s back to normal, while many people are still stuck in their own continent. This year, I heard many people giving excuses for not achieving things due to COVID, in my opinion, some of them are just afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone. Trust me, I understand the excuses. It takes a lot of courage. All you need is to find something to outweigh COVID.
   
2. I’ve given myself much me-time although I am still figuring out what I want in my life.
   
   I detached from my family and friend circle just to give myself a break and see whether I can remove the FOMO habit. I’d say it’s a success.
   
3. I’ve become a proper grown-up.
   
   I have been living alone for more than a year in a foreign country. I am no longer being looked after by my parents (or my maid) in the bubble of safety and comfort. I have been doing my own household chores, washing my own clothes, cooking my own food and doing my own grocery shopping all the time.
   
4. I’ve landed a job in Europe which requires a lot of intercultural communication.
   
   I am very lucky. I landed a job in the town I live. It’s not a small company but a very well-established, long history one. To be frank, it was not the kind of lively company I expected but it did broaden my horizon in learning about the EMEA market and working with people from a different culture.

28 years in review, what problems I am constantly facing and needed to be solved?

1. I’m procrastinated most of my time.
   
   As I successfully gave myself a lot of me-time this year, I started to see it’s starting to become my excuse for procrastinating. I’ve always been giving too many excuses to myself for not doing something. In the past, it was because of work, because of not having enough me-time… but now when I have more me-time here in the UK, I am off work normally at 5 PM, I still procrastinate. So obviously, they are not the main reason for procrastinating. I procrastinate because I just do. I just get used to procrastinating.
   
2. I don’t have enough self-discipline in my lifestyle.
   
   Besides procrastination, I started to realize I am not getting my shit together. Like doing household chores, it took me 1-2 months for me to feel like I need to clean my room and change my bedsheet. I’m just so lazy. Even I paid for my gym membership, I couldn’t maintain the habit of going to the gym. Even I paid for an online course, I had an excuse for not completing the coursework… This leads to my next two points below.
   
3. I have too many excuses.
   
   I don’t think I need much explanation on this.
   
4. I am always wasting money.
   
   Obviously, this is due to not financially conscious enough and not seeing money as important enough. As I said in my previous point, I paid for something that I am not consuming. I still remember when I was in high school, I wasted a lot of money paying tuition fees for those extra tutorial classes outside school. I really regret it. It seems like a flaw in me of how I spend money like I am rich (but I am 100% not).
   
5. I keep changing my mind.
   
   Originally I would like to say I am not sticking to the goals I set for myself, but I feel like this is not a huge problem. It’s okay to live with no goal as long as you are happy with it. It’s okay if goals changed and you work on other priorities. But the thing is – I always change my mind, very inconsistent. I see this as a problem not because I want to quit this problem. I know it somehow attributes to my personality traits, always wavering in mind, very irresolute.

28 years, what are your special qualities?

Talking a lot about all those negative things, we always need to look at something in multiple dimensions. More appreciation and self-affirmation (my main theme of 2022). What have I changed/constantly done well?

1. I listen to my own inner voice and follow my heart.
   
   I like a lot of self-talk. Not just by blogging, but also when I am on my own wandering in the park, on a train ride or watching movies/shows, I think a lot. I started to realize I have this ability to catch the spark in my mind and brainstorm new ideas. Keep this up and follow my heart as always.
   
   I am genuine to myself and to all my true friends.
   
   Even this year I lost touch with many of my friends, I do still trust the intangible bonding between us. You don’t have to talk to that person often or meet them often. It’s all about what you experienced together, the quality time and the friendship building efforts that both have made. True friendship won’t collapse easily. I always have strong faith and confidence in friends. I am genuine and true to them. Only true friends stay.
   
   I’m a lucky girl, always have been.
   
   No further explanation is needed. I am blessed with love from my family and friends, also at work most of the time. Have faith in your strengths.

Epilogue

This is a very long blog. I guess it’s because I haven’t been writing any blogs recently and my writing skill is getting worse. I couldn’t manage to put my words precise and concise. More practice is needed. Anyway, some last words for myself to put an end to my 27.

We are all ordinary, we are not Elon Musk, allow yourself to be mediocre. You don’t have to walk the conventional path that people think you should walk to be mediocre. Just keep following what your inner voice says, do it while you can. All it takes to be a little bit different and unique is to get out of a rut sometimes, add some new ideas, create some sparks to your life. After all, we are still human being, isn’t it?

With what’s happening around the world, the wars, the pandemic, the climate and the freedom suppression, you realize how tiny you are, smaller than dust in the universe. Why bother? Why step back? Why not walk a baby step to help someone or do something? This too shall pass. Live in the moment and live life to the fullest.

You don’t have to catch the pace of the others. Life is not a race, it’s a path with different doors. Therefore, you need to walk along the path, reach the doors and open them. It’s a cycle. Sometimes you feel lost, it’s okay. There must be some moments in your life that you don’t know what to do, it’s okay. We’ll get there. Tell yourself, it’s alright.

Be good to yourself and if you are vacillating between two options, Look for the 3rd direction. Don’t let yourself to stay in the “Hanged Man” situation for too long. Still the mind for a short while, then work on it, get out of it.

Relooking into my goals, here are the ones for my 28

• Continue to do the UI design course and complete it
• Keep making music with my Novation Launchkey Mini III
• Cultivate a sports habit – gym, boxing, basketball, badminton or bouldering, you have to find one.
• Have I seen the world enough? No. Keep exploring the UK, Europe or even the wider world.

Last but not least, what are my birthday wishes? Stay healthy and spread peace. Cheers.