Master the New Skill: DGAF
DGAF a.k.a. Don’t Give A Fuck
Sometimes if you like a good quality of a person, you want to be like him/her. There is a kind of person that I really admire and appreciate – the person who doesn’t give a fuck to things that are not important to them. They are clear about why are they not interested in things and don’t mind if they are not involved in some kinds of uninteresting discussions around them.
DGAF is a skill/quality that I think it’s essential to every human being. Many things happen in life, and you have to prioritize what is important to you and what is not. The skill of DGAF is a perfect one to help you filter unnecessary distractions. Honestly speaking, what I am going to say is not something new, they are all adopted as I took reference from books and what others said. I just would like to summarize some good points that have to be highlighted for people like me.
Learning about DGAF is not easy, it requires a change of mentality. Actions are everything for learning. Here are some action steps for those who want to master the skill of DGAF (adapted from the book: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck, I might have trimmed some points or added some elaboration on each point):
- Take responsibility
You are responsible for everything that happens in your life. Accept your responsibility. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you interpret and respond to what happens to you. - Let the pain come at you (sustain the pain)
Embrace the uncomfortable as acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. Suffering is inevitable if you want to be successful. As failure is necessary for success. When you face the pain, ask what you can do now but not why will that happen. When you find your life goals, ask what pain do you want in your life and what are you willing to struggle for. Welcome the pain and act despite it. No pain, no gain. - Don’t be so certain
It’s told that certainty is the enemy of growth. Search for doubts in your life. You’re always wrong and never be right. Be humble to learn from mistakes and give yourself room to learn. As you go from wrong to less wrong, you open up the possibility of change and bring the opportunity for growth. “The man who is certain that he knows everything earns nothing”. - Don’t think that you are exceptional
You’re simply not special and don’t title yourself in a very specific way. Give yourself identities (e.g. teacher, trainer, creator, friend, student, traveler, etc.) Yes, make it a broader one. - Just do it (Action → Inspiration → Motivation → Action)
It’s a cycle. First, you do, then you get inspired. You get motivated from that and start doing. Don’t wait for your passion to come. You don’t follow your passion, you do first and passion follows you. - Quality > Quantity
Live with less, as you are happier with less. With less, you don’t stick in the paradox of choices and you’re more concerned about living in the moment. Like sleeping, a better quality of sleep means a lot than the quantity of sleep. - Commitment matters
I learned a new word “FOMO” from the review of this book on Youtube. FOMO means the fear of missing out. When you’re more committed, your FOMO decreases as you are clear about your position and what you’ve done. Then it’s an important step to DGAF. - Remember you will die anyway
You will die one day, why matters? So appreciate your life more and be more humble when facing adversity.
“The only way to be comfortable with death is to understand and see yourself as something bigger than yourself; To choose values that stretch beyond serving yourself, that is simple and immediate and controllable and tolerant of the chaotic world around you”
They are the essential steps to DGAF. After you follow these steps, you change your own mentality, then you know what matters to you in life, or for yourself. Then you know there are actually many trivial things that are not worth your attention. DGAF will definitely lead us to a better life.